Resolutions for 2015

I am a big believer in reinventing oneself. It’s something my father taught me. Each year, on January 1, he would give me a new diary — one with a full page for each day of the year— saying that while it is hard to be honest to others or even one’s own self, it is easy to be honest to pieces of paper that nobody but the writer would ever read.

He would then ask me to sit me down and  list five school-related and five personal life-related changes that would would make life a more positive experience for me. I didn’t need to show them to him. All I had to do is be honest — to the diary. Then, he would ask me to use the page for January 1 to list 10 habits I could develop that would help bring about those positive changes in my life. What he said, paraphrased (because I cannot remember the exact words) comes to this:

What life doles out to you, or, how others behave, are largely beyond your control. How you react to what life or others dish out, what principles you live your life by, and what habits you adopt that set you up for either success or failure, are entirely within your control, however. So, today, being the first day of a new year, is a new beginning: You can decide whether you are going to set yourself depends on the habits you inculcate. Today, think about how you want to be, and spend the rest of the year doing your best to be that better version of yourself. If you are unsatisfied with yourself, re-invent yourself. New beginnings have great power: the power of the seemingly clean slate. So, be a newer, better you.

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Resolutions for 2015

Reflecting back on 2014

I’ve been away from this blog for a while — that was a mistake, one I will work hard to avoid in 2015.

Because a realization came crashing down on me yesterday: it’s that I am turning into a miserable, grumbling curmudgeon with a steady stream of negativity running through my head at all waking hours quite like a 24-hour news channel covering US politics.

Negativity about what you may ask?

About absolutely everyone and everything that is not just right: in-laws reminding me to get situated behind a white picket fenced house and pop out some babies; about Keith being afraid to ditch it all and move across the world to start a new and exciting life somewhere far away from the all-consuming American Dream (AD). About sucky Sonya, who really does suck, but that has been established by all that work with, and around, her already so why harp on the point.

I’ve been walking around with my very own, custom-built-for-me hell in my own head.

Is that why my blood pressure is through the roof again? Is that why I still have not lost the 20 lbs I set out to lose at the start of last summer?

Today, after many months, I listened to an episode of the Vedanta podcasts again after many months. A sentence from it spoke to me…as if it was spoken just to me:

The world we see is a reflection of our own minds

How apt! And how true. The people we meet in the world are as ugly or as beautiful as people as we see them. The world has felt so awful to me of late — where I thought everyone was out to stop me from living the life I want to live. But the world has not gotten any worse than it was, really; the lens through which my mind processes the world has vile slime smeared all over it. I’ve been poisoning it with my own thoughts.

No more!

Thankfully, it’s my favourite time of the year: time to decide what goes into the software for Swati version (n+1). It’s time to make some RESOLUTIONS!

My next post will have my resolutions for 2015. The key will be to make small changes to my life each day that add up over time…like money in a retirement account. That’s so the goals are not so lofty that they seem unattainable and I feel that it would be useless to even try.

 

 

Reflecting back on 2014