It was wicked windy and cold in Boston last night. 30 kph (19mph) winds and -19C (-2F). I As I pottered along to the T (subway) station after my workout I was aware only of the wind and of the intensifying growls of hunger coming from the depths of my stomach. Unconsciously I rubbed the last $20 bill from my Christmas present money in my pocket between my fingers. I could buy myself a snack — a dinner even — and break my budget without it showing up in my weekly budgeting: a technical loophole. It defeated my goal of applying self-discipline and curbing my spending habits, however. I knew I was cheating.
I was still thirty feel away when I heard the train before I saw it. I had to make it to make the 7:10 PM bus home from Riverside so I started to run…or waddle really because I looked like a massive, unweildy purple marshmallow in my heavy winter hiking jacket and my backpack stuffed with my now dirty gym clothes and running shoes and laptop. I was still ten feet away when the train arrived and doors opened. People were packed into it like sardines in a tin, and somehow, more people piled in. I would make it but I had not a second extra to spare. I waddled faster and started pulling out my train pass from my jacket pocket at the same time.
The $20 bill had been swaddling my T-pass. As I yanked it out, the money came out with it. It happened in an instant but I felt I watched it in slow motion: the howling wind swept the $20 bill in a rising spiral over my head. The seventh US president, Andrew Jackson, the face on $20 dollar bills, and I locked eyes for a second. Even as I flung my hand forward — fingers outstretched — to grab it, it flew away from me along the station. There was a momentary break in the wind and I I watched it fall and come to rest next to a red minivan parked outside the station twenty feet away. I dashed towards it as fast as I could. It was pointless, however. In another split second, a new gush of wind lifted the bill back up and off it was gone…hurled into the darkness of the night.
I remained transfixed by my bad luck. I was cheating my budget but fate cheated me instead. I don’t know how long I stood there. It could have been a minute, five minutes or even ten. I was brought back by a loud angry rumble from deep inside me. The train was gone and I was quite alone on the platform as I waited for the next one, disconsolate and unhappy.
Now there is no buffer of secret money left. Now it’s just me vs temptation and/or hunger.
My lack of control over my eating has been the source of great frustration and unhappiness for me for a very long time. I have been working out at an expensive, women’s-only small group gym that has a personal trainer for every four women and had been getting nowhere with my weight. It wasn’t the gym’s fault either. My muscles have been getting toned; I can see muscles in places where I had never, ever felt any before and under half an inch of fat on my belly, I can feel rock-hard abs. I was building the muscles…only, they were hidden under a thin cover of fat.
My nutrition plan is simple:
- Eat good food
- Eat smaller portions
- Eat a balanced meal
- Eat until full, not stuffed
- Drink lots of water
I have stuck to my diet/nutrition plan well these past 10 days — including the weekend — and already I have been rewarded. Continue reading “Happiness is Making Progress”
Nutrition-wise, I had my best weekend in a very, very long time. I did not overeat — not even once! And, we ate most of our meals at home (I cooked, of course), so it was also the cheapest weekend in a long time.
We did get mall food yesterday (Sunday), and I got some greasy Chinese food. HOWEVER, instead of rice or noodles, I chose to get steamed veggies as my main. And I finished that part of my food. I loaded up on broccoli, carrots and Chinese cabbage, and had some cornstarch-coated-fried-sauced mango chicken with it. And spicy chicken and peppers. It felt amazing to not feel bloated afterwards.
- Herbalife wedding cake smoothie
- 1.5 cups fat free milk
- 2 scoops Herbalife cookies-n-cream Formula 1 powder
- 1 Tbsp Jell-O sugar-free cheesecake pudding mix
- 1 Tbsp Jell-O sugar-free white chocolate pudding mix
- 1 farm fresh fried egg
Continue reading “Weekend Food Log: September 6 and 7”
Had my first cheat meal tonight. The challenge will be to not let the cheat extend through the entire weekend.
- Herbalife smoothie
- 1.25 cups fat free milk
- 2 scoops Herbalife cookies-n-cream Formula 1 powder
- 1.5 Tbsp PB2 peanut butter powder
- 0.6 oz Genoa salami + hot Capicola
- 1 slice pepper jack cheese
Continue reading “Food Log: September 5, 2014”
Down 2 lbs and 1% body fat. Yay! The weight was probably just water weight, but the body fat I could not possibly have lost overnight. So, I am still quite proud of myself. Now if only I can go the weekend without binge-eating, I will be in terrific shape. I give myself. One cheat meal should not turn into an entire cheat day. If I can do that, I will be solid.
- Herbalife Banana-PB smoothie
- 1.25 cups fat-free milk
- 1.5 scoops Herbalife cookies-n-cream Formula 1 powder
- 1.5 Tbsp PB2 powdered peanut butter
- 1.5 oz Genoa salami + hot Capicola sandwich
- 1 apple
Continue reading “Success and Food Log: September 4, 2014”
Today was a good food day too, I thought. I am certain I ate less than 1300 calories today. I wanted to snack more, but I stopped myself and told my brain to find something else to amuse itself with besides food.
Had to do a lot (53 minutes at a very brisk pace) of walking because I missed my stop on the bus and there wasn’t another bus for an hour and a half. I was already so sore from yesterday’s gym workout. And an added bonus is that I drank way more than the recommended 64 oz of water. 🙂
- 1.5 Scrambled Eggs (scrambled 3 eggs; shared with Keith) (130 calories)
- 3/4 Tbsp butter (70 calories)
- ½ slice toast (40 calories)
- 1 cup cauliflower-peas-gourd curry
- 1 cup steamed whole edamame beans
Continue reading “Food Log: September 3, 2014”
Yesterday was a genuinely good food day. And…and, I went to the gym on top of that. I just need to remind myself how happy staying on track with my nutrition and exercise plan makes me feel. Workout consisted of 30 minutes weights, 30 minutes cardio. I think I burned about 450-500 calories through my workout yesterday.
Of course, there’s still work to be done. Next time, the wontons are getting steamed rather than fried (Keith would definitely not have eaten them if I had steamed them — not the first time, anyway). The pineapple rings are just going to have to go, or I cannot eat more than one half of a single ring on any single day. I don’t know how I will summon up the willpower to do that though. I should just toss them.
- Herbalife banana-cookies-n-cream shake (250 calories)
- 1¼ cup fat free milk
- 1/2 large banana
- 1 Tbsp PB2 peanut butter
- 2 scoops Herbalife cookies-n-cream powder
Continue reading “Food Log: September 2, 2014”